Monday, December 8, 2014

“The bear gets confused.”


Eventful day in Dawson City. I met a new friend. A visual artist who moved to the Yukon after fifteen years in Toronto. She couldn’t stand the ubiquity of  “economically minded” art anymore. Only fifteen years up north, and she’s noticed a change in the winters. January used to be reliably below 55 degrees celsius in the first week, minimum. One year it tapered off. More and more, each ensuing.

Peculiar night in Dawson City. In an effort to keep my creative energies separate from my administrative work, I ventured into town, away from Berton House. The first thing I learn from the lovely server is that there is a boil water advisory for the town - makes me wonder at what sort of shit belies the warning, and how anybody had planned to let me know. The Downtown Hotel has a little bar that is well lit enough to work in, and with a stereo system low enough to focus on the task at hand. Tonight the lower volume of the all 80s hits served up an auditory intrusion at a table not far away.

A group of men, all with white or salt and pepper beards, playing euchre, talking mining and trucking, hunting and trapping. As I made notes for my overdue grant reports, I also made notes of the little gems that floated into my orbit from theirs.

“He went down in a plane, and survived. Then he tried to pull people outta there. Ran back into the plane, and he just never come out. To Stan!” - cheers all around for Stan Rogers. At this, I considered buying them a round.

“In Jamaica I got a blow job for two bucks. But that was a long time ago.” Apparently some remember the 60s in rosy, ethnocentric tones. Decided to keep to myself at this.

“We are all Viking bastards. I told an Eskimo that the one time and he said you know, you’re not too far from the truth on that.” and a brief lecture about the Inuit, lactose intolerance and Charlemagne.

Then, with a grin. “By the way, how’s your sister Irene? We were together for six weeks, there. I went through six thousand bucks, and she went to jail.” Huge laughter.

Two or three of the men lay down their cards and make their way elsewhere - one citing family obligations is called a “fairy.” The table switches to French and laughter continues. Back in English, one man asks the loudest why he’s due in court tomorrow. Loudpants speaks of hunting rights and what fucking bullshit it all is. He tells a tale, which features - in slightly hushed tones, three times - “And then I threatened ‘im, eh?” And once “But I didn’t say i WILL kill you, i said i SHOULD kill you.”

This inspires other hunting stories. “Last year I got fucked for nothin’- well, for caribou.” and “I did ninety days and paid three thousand dollars to feed my fuckin’ family.”

From this, Loudpants unleashes a rant about “Indians.” It seems he blames us for hunting and trapping laws that inconvenience him. Somehow he has come to believe that the first peoples of this land decided to create regulations that are at times kind of stupid, and at times necessary. Either this, or he believes the laws are to control our behaviour, though it was settlers who nearly murdered all of the bison. He opines he is sick of these laws that keep only serve to keep  “Indians from being fucking idiots” because they are unfair to people like him.

A friend of his at the table quietly says something that feels a bit more sound. Loudpants (LP)  says “Ya, I know, but you know what I mean? You don’t even trap. Around here, all the Indians are like halfbreed or quarter breed. I don’t want some one-thirty-second fucker telling me what I can’t do.”

The third man at the table tells a story about a Cree man in Quebec who is very much in favour of changing hunting and trapping laws. Said Cree fellow mentions a word in Cree - so the story goes - that speaks to how unjust the laws are. Loudpants interjects “Ya, that’s the kind of Indian I like. Real Indians. Who speak their language. Fucking breeds around here don’t even fuckin’ speak French.”

And I decide to leave my dinner and hardly touched second glass of wine. As I pay my tab, the server asks if I want my dinner to go. I explain I don’t want to waste it, but I’ve lost my appetite due to the man behind me. She apologizes and whispers “That happens a lot around him.” She quickly packages my food, which I appreciate. As she does so, Loudpants speaks of someone who was trying to speak with him about over-fishing salmon. This is my breaking point.

On my way out, I nearly leave because I am embarrassed that I am close to tears. Instead, I muster my courage, fix a firm jaw and walk up to the table where Loudpants sits.

“Hi, men.”

Loudpants - “Hello, sweetheart. Pull up a stump!” 


“No, thank you. I just had to say… I’ve appreciated a lot of the camaraderie here at this table tonight, and I thank you for that. I also, however, want to let YOU know that I am a halfbreed. And we are everywhere.”

LP - “Wull. Good for you.”

“I want you to consider something if you will.”

His friend - “Sure, honey.”
LP - “Sit down!”

“No, thank you. Half of your DNA comes from a woman. Does that make you any less of a man?”

Loudpants “Huh?”

Even though he may never be aware that it’s not his mother’s genetic contribution that makes him ineligible to be a man, I’m glad I put it out there. On my way out, I see a mixie-looking fella at the bar smiling at me, and hear LP shout “Hey, come sit down, sweetheart!” and I’m so happy I spoke up.

Earlier today my new artist friend spoke of her concern over climate change. “It gets too warm too soon. We used to have ice fog. I haven’t seen it in years. It effects everything. The birds. The squirrels have their young a week earlier, I hear. And the bears. It’s so warm, the bears wake up early. In February. And it’s still winter. The bear gets confused.” And we grew silent.

Growing, silent. Something Loudpants may never do.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

first four days

owen, luca and dd post sulphur mountain.
we were delayed. the kids were extremely understanding and touchingly patient when i let them know that my love, andy, and his son luca were wanting some one on one time during the holiday. the twosome had been in vancouver for a spell, but had much warm company throughout. i dreaded letting the kids know - bear in mind they’ve been planning for banff this year since we came here last year. what it meant for them was that we’d be headed to banff a day later. they listened with big eyes and understood completely. not at all what i expected. incredible how flexible the young can be.

as we got here, it was to the pool and then the buffet at three ravens. awesome. we followed that up with the gondola, which was where we started losing things. the first was my good sense. andy, luca and our owen decided luca and owen could walk down sulphur mountain as a duo. luca is sixteen, but raised in toronto. he can figure out the TTC, but hiking? eep. owen just turned ten and he’s shy of his mega growth spurt. his brains and braun are mighty, but it’s all packed into a compact beauty brown boy. andy’s enthusiasm had me going along with this madness, though it was already nine p.m. so, off the boys went as darkness descended. we took the gondola back down with dd, our niece. she had a great time making the same joke for every ascending gondola car passing us “That one’s empty. They fell out!” she had new deliveries each time. we closed down the gift shop, and then waited outside for the mountain descenders as dd wrote her mom a postcard.

by the time luca and owen found a building, it was pitch dark out, and they had no idea where they were. well, they’d veered off track a little, so we caught up to them at the hot springs… eventually. luca rang his dad’s cell and let us know where they were. andy said we’d come fetch them in the car - my sister’s car. the four remaining gondola staff members were awaiting a shuttle bus that brings them back into town. luckily. we frantically searched ourselves for the keys when one staff fella asked whether we were looking for keys. he let us know they were “at the gondola.” i had visions of keys spotted fallen off the edge of the summit and madly squirreled away by a chipmunk. it turns out we’d set them down at the front desk when we paid. (well, andy set them down and i wasn’t tracking like i normally would.) the fella ran into the building and emerged with our keys. we zipped up to grab the descenders and took a victory photo. we looked at the hot springs, thinking we’d plan a trip for tomorrow. a bird’s eye view revealed pasty tourists lining the perimeter. “Dumpling soup.” we opted out.

the greatest thing i’ve felt from these few days is witnessing the way a child claims his/her/their space. they map out the land, find their brightest places and call it theirs. they share with their brother or sister. they want to show the people they love. they ask questions when something seems askew. these kids love the banff centre pool. they are baffled when an older boy leaps onto the dinghy they are using, immediately looking to see if i’ve witnessed this event. their wide eyes asking me “What the heck?” dd silent gasps and hides a long pointed finger when she sees a nude woman in the change room, utterly unashamed of her body. when the woman leaves, i tell my niece that one day maybe she’ll be the same. she assures me it is “gross” and always will be. she says it like she owns the place and her own mind. and she does. but she’ll share.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

full-time

my sister raises her two kids as their sole full-time caregiver. they have grandparents in the same town who do heaps more swimming, hockey and lego than most retirees, and that has saved all of our souls. they also have a very cool family in southern alberta including some awesome cousins and a very loving dad. full-time, though, is fully my sister becky. this summer marks her first ever child-free holiday. she is in scotland with her pipes and drums band, followed by a trip to ireland. fifteen days of freedom, guinness and bliss.

i’m thirty-eight and very much in love with a fella named andy. i’m childless by choice, but devoted to our niece and nephew. andy has a brilliant 16 year old and helped raise his sister, but has been out of little kid land for awhile. andy works with the dynamic Indigenous Dance Residency in Banff, has done for a few years - it’s always 60+ hours/week and completely wonderful. last year we visited him in banff, the kids, my sister and i. loved it. this year i am full time auntie. this blog, for the next eleven days, is the story of how all of us found joy among the tantrums, picky eating, and iPad withdrawal.

ANDY AND THE KIDS LAST YEAR

Saturday, April 26, 2014

daily deadlines

Plays happen in so many ways. I feel fortunate in that I’ve had some very powerful work (powerful to me and some of my supporters, mystifying or crappy to others at times) beckon and once that call is answered the play arrives, whole. There is rewriting to do, but that initial draft, bleeding out in a matter of days, is an inexplicable high. The nearest equivalent is childhood dreams of flying, in that moment when the work of the “take-off” is over and you simply soar through the world, a perfect part of it. In this work, I feel my grannies and great aunties. Never consciously the male ancestors, though... not often. When young playwrights hit that wall of fear, and come to me for a nudge, I always remind them “You are the culmination of all of your ancestors, gifted with the desire to tell stories. We’re privileged enough that we’re not forbidden to do so anymore. Go Write!” I know it’s easier to speak the poetry of our bloodlines than to sit down with the keyboard, longing. Longing to have it all figured out, or longing to recline on the couch with movies instead. Both very strong urges.

There are plays that take ages to eke out of the world’s many blessings and onto the page. For me, these are often the commissions. It’s difficult to take an impetus from another living person and craft that into something that can really speak to you and your drive to create. There are two such plays that remain unfinished for me. In both cases, the creative teams were brave and invested a lot of faith in me, but ultimately the words didn’t find their rightful life. I will return to them in the coming years and make good of the investment. I have to consider that a play can find me through

Right now, I’m sorting out the math of an existing bleeder play - The Ministry of Grace - as well as researching and writing some new works. With thanks to the OAC’s TCR program, I am at liberty to do this work. I’m also trying to nail down a first draft of a play I began working on in 2010. Interested parties have been very patient and generous. For the first time ever, I am assigning myself a page count per day until a draft of new TYA play Dear Louis Riel is on the outside. I am forcing writing like work-outs or flossing - so rewarding when you get them done.
 
The Ministry of Grace plays, in workshop production, at Fort York in Toronto in June 2014.

Best of luck to you with your creations, and if you can please wish me the same, I’ll be thanking you.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

world makers

i’ve long wondered about how it is that designers for theatre end up so much relegated to the sidelines. this isn’t true across the boards, but if you look at publicity for most theatres, whether it’s a poster or a flyer, the designers are seldom listed, never mind featured. this has always baffled me.

some reading this know i am very much in love with a great designer. andy moro has created some of the most striking lighting, innovative sets, evocative and haunting sound designs and mind-blowing video/projection. he used to do costumes, too, but the direct contact with actor egos made him grumpy. andy’s considerable gifts are not why the regard - or seeming absence thereof - for designers has puzzled me for so long. it may be a big contributor to why i flipped my lid for him, though. i’ve always found myself trying to see the design, and his is so... well. refer to previous adjectives.

as a playwright, the first time i realized i could create a show that would not be at all disappointing was after i had seen andy’s work with the daniels, macivor and brooks. i say “create” because i began to understand that with the right collaborators, directing might be a possibility as well.  i had the chance to meet andy at buddies in bad times that night and learned immediately that he is a warm and beautiful soul. so, here was an artist who is not only wildly talented, but he also has a rigour in his work that renders it almost invisible. by this i mean he weaves so artfully with the storytelling that we understand his work as being integral to the show - we don’t see it as a flashy show-off feature in a show. mind you, his work with the daniels is one platform in which andy was enthusiastically
commended in reviews, and where he was appreciated by his collaborators.


Migrations at Banff, lighting my Moro, costumes by Jeff Chief. A Red Sky Performance and Black Grace collab.

so. i understand that sometimes when a designer’s work is remarkable, we fail to clock it as such. rather than becoming a standout, it serves to deliver the experience in a way that non-theatre workers can’t completely understand. those of us who work in theatre, though - surely we appreciate their skills?

a quick survey of actor friends who i regularly text demonstrates that this is partly true. most of them could come up at least with a first name of one of the designers they’ve worked with on recent shows. i understand some people aren’t good with names - but i have also stood at the side of many a designer on many an opening night and had people congratulate me, and all but ignore them. and these are theatre people.

yet we KNOW! we know we are playing make believe in our sweats in a dusty room under fluorescents without them. so, where are their kudos? do they want them? i recall ben chaisson remarking on the absence of a video/projection dora some years back, from the stage. this hasn’t changed. what frigging year is it anyway?

i’ve had to fight for designer credits in show propaganda, many times. (easier when serving as a.d. of a producing company.) i seldom see designer’s names listed on juries that have accepted or rejected my grant proposals, and we rarely see interviews with them. yet they know so damn much.

there are designers who work so closely on the creative process that they become indispensable to directors. yvette nolan and michelle ramsay. nina lee aquino and cami koo. christopher morris and gillian gallow. michael hollingsworth and andy moro.

at video cabaret, andy inherited the lighting reigns from jim plaxton. andy is always quick to say how key jim was to developing the video cabaret aesthetic with hollingsworth and deanne taylor. videocab has been a unique world of wonder for years. this “mad dollhouse”, as hollingsworth has often referred to it, is a place where performers know how spectacular the designers make the work - in the past, andy has been in the room from very early on. most processes only have designers implement their elements at the final week. so nuts!
with their current production, Trudeau, videocab had to go it mostly without andy, who could not be with the team due to a shift in production schedule. andy's role was consultatory - yet he still spent two full weeks with the brilliant cast, writer, directors, and designers.

if you ask any actor who has worked on a video cab show, they will tell you that they understand the world they’re in because of the importance of andy’s gentle guidance. let’s end with those good words, yeah?


“I have worked 7 shows with Andy. Nothing but big love for the man.
Great energy. Great artist.” Linda Prystawska


“Praises to be sung to the uttermost” Mac Fyfe

“In a show where the lights are scene partners, it is integral to have the lighting designer there for the entire process. While Michael and the actors were figuring out characters and story, Andy was there. Listening. Andy was ready with ideas and suggestions by the time the first attempt at blocking happened. Michael would have a rough idea. The actors had ideas. And Andy could implement them all. Immediately. And throw in some of his, ultimately better, suggestions. It's the designers job to help clarify the picture that's happening on stage.  I learned from working with Andy early on, that having his eyes and voice in the room only strengthened and supported the vision of the director. Not to mention his never wavering support of the entire creative team. Hearing Andy's laugh would make my day!! Michael trusted and respected him so implicitly. And everyone in the room knew they could trust Andy with their creative lives. And we did. And those that are working with him now still do.   And I hope that I'll have the opportunity to work
along side him again and again.” Kerry Ann Doherty

“I have nothing but the utmost respect for Andy. As good of a designer as he is, he's a better guy. But to speak professionally...I know Andy in that most unique enviro: videocab, where design, script, story, and character are very tightly interwoven.  As you know from day one we are making 'tech' aware choices as well as acting choices.  So when Andy would show up and start popping those lights on us the real fun would begin. His vision for how to make the story and acting more vivid is of the highest expertise.  He really gets it.  He's not trying to impose some predetermined vision. But rather see what's in front of him, get inspired, and really chisel away like a master sculptor, not to mention his energy and demeanor in the room, a true pro, he's a positive energy, full  of life and passion, and a consummate team player, never dismissive to others creative offers.  I wish other companies would try and integrate design into the creative process and not keep them as separate art forms.  It's all about the play! Andy is a true artistic warrior.” Paul Braunstein

“I've worked with Andy Moro many years
On many shows with VideoCabaret
Through on-stage blood and backstage sweat and tears
There's so much 'bout his work that I can say.

It wasn't just his lighting that was key 

He nuanced every scene, but even more

Creatively, his input guided me 

And our collective trusts him to our core.

Of VideoCabaret's exquisite style 

The writing and direction get top praise 

Exquisite wigs and costuming beguile 

About the acting, people rave for days.

But, rarely have I heard after a show 

Discussions 'round the lighting, though it's key 

Apart from on and off, people don't know 

It shapes each moment so intricately.

Of all the elements Black Box draws upon 

The lighting seems to get the shortest shrift 

His brilliance wasn't only light that shone

But, his illuminations gave us lift. 



I fear this sounds too much like an obit 

Suffice to say, I love him like my kin 

The man's A-One, and with these words I'll quit 

As In another playing area, his lights fade in.” Anand Rajaram

CATCH TRUDEAU, RUNNING IN TORONTO NOW!






Friday, March 14, 2014

when blood speaks

cousins addy, trevor and sharon, myself, and one great auntie hazel
The journey with In Spirit has been a long and challenging one. It began, for me, a creative partnership that anchors my being today. In Spirit (then alternately titled) debuted at SummerWorks ’07, and marked my first collaboration with Andy Moro. Our tireless drive to work and work more until something feels closer to what it should be has been getting on peoples nerves ever since. At the time of In Spirit, Andy’s son was eight years of age - the story of In Spirit is that of a twelve year old girl. The content resonated with Andy, and his commitment to the work has never wavered. On my side, the content related directly to my own blood.

My mom (and all her kids, of course) is Ntlaka’pamux from the Coldwater Band, and I am happy to say our annual summer holiday trips brought us to B.C. to hang out with cousins and lovingly torment aunties. It was on one of these trips that I learned, for the first time, that young people on reserve were just as likely to be victims of abductions as us kids from the big city of Lethbridge. Not until I was an adult did I begin to understand the real level of violence perpetrated against our women and girls.

When I started working, in earnest, through the stories of our missing and murdered women and girls, the story that kept calling to me the strongest was one close to home. My mom and I had some conversations about this very real, very heartbreaking story, and that led to a phone call. The mother of one such missing, murdered girl is a cousin to my mom. They spoke and caught up over a series of calls. That led to my own relationship with this strong woman, and permission from her to write of her late daughter.

The writing came, as through ancestors, in a mighty current of words and images. I tend to take this as an indication that I’m doing the right thing. Five days after beginning the writing, I was in a studio with Andy and the wonderful M├ętis actor Michaela Washburn. The work ran deep, and Washburn, a true empath, carried a great deal of the spiritual burden in this piece. Her self-care had to expand when we went into full rehearsals. Her performance at SummerWorks was breathtaking. When that brief run closed, I began to work with my contact (and cousin!) to bring the play to B.C. In spite of best efforts, the granting bodies didn’t support our proposed community tour. We agreed we'd try again.

Meanwhile, the work was growing in a good way, and with the support of the OAC’s TCR program, through recommenders Native Earth Performing Arts (NEPA), and then through a residency at Cahoots Theatre. This development led to another public workshop session, with Factory Theatre’s now defunct CrossCurrents Festival.  For this round, actor PJ Prudat brought a new approach to the work that further illuminated its path, and with such gentle grace. It was this time that Andy introduced video.

As ever, life takes its many complex turns. My own path led me to a multitude of other artistic pursuits, and in 2011, into the chair of NEPA’s AD. My time serving in that position clocked in just under three years, yet somehow I have aged thirty. I used to laugh when former AD Yvette Nolan would ask “What fresh hell is this?” to the tone of the office phone ringing. Of course, in Yvette’s storied era, there was also lots of laughing and frequent dance breaks. This was something I did not do enough of during my time.

In Spirit was programmed for 2013/14 in response to a trying though bright transitional time at NEPA. None of this is private information - NEPA issued a press release postponing Kenneth Williams’ play, Deserters back when the difficult decision was made to do so. The move into Daniels Spectrum and the Aki Studio Theatre took a toll on the company in every way. It was a risk worth taking, no question, and I applaud former GM Donna Michelle St. Bernard for her courage, as well as the board for believing it was all possible.

In Spirit is a strong work, and affordable, with one sole actor - perfect for then struggling NEPA. NEPA was also blessed for the coming 2013/14 season by the partnership Aluna Theatre offered with their Rutas Panamericanas festival. Seven years after its SummerWorks debut, In Spirit would make its full production debut. With originating actor Washburn and ensuing actor Prudat pursuing other artistic and alternative paths, it was our good fortune that we were gifted with a bright new talent, in shape of Sera-Lys McArthur.

Sera-Lys is an immaculately skilled and astonishingly talented actor, who trained in NYC and the UK, returning to her roots with stage work on Where the Blood Mixes (Western Canada Theatre, Theatre Aquarius and Theatre Network) Smoke (Mixed Phoenix) and now In Spirit.

The consummately patient Mike Lewandowski has completed our foursome, and traveled with us, camera in hand, to B.C. and back again. The public debut was at Full Circle’s Talking Stick festival in Vancouver. Our team fell in love with the festival,  the Roundhouse Theatre and their space tech, Terry. This experience was classy, inclusive, respectful, organized, and warm - a proverbial blanket enfolding us in the chilly west coast rain.

The night that moves me to write today is the night a particular group of twenty came to see In Spirit. This group included my mom’s cousin and my contact throughout this writing process - more about that night in a moment. As the debut approached, this woman, mother and grandmother, who has endured more than anyone should, became concerned about the impact of this play on her family’s right to hold memory as they wish. I offered to change details of this already fictionalized play, as well as its title, in service of this right, and to demonstrate to my friend that I move from a place of good. In addition to this, my cousin Sharon, who booked our anchor tour date, offered to cancel the presentation of In Spirit in the interior - a generous act of good will. The revised script was given to the concerned family, and passed along to investigating officers who actively work on cases included in the Highway of Tears. It was decided, unequivocally, that the play was in no way harmful to the investigations, and some opined that the play illuminates the all too many unresolved cases in a good way.

On the night of the group of twenty, Margo Kane very wisely asked Elder Shane Pointe to welcome the audience, and offer a protective song at the show’s beginning and end. This is reminiscent of the Maori practice of beginning and ending a session of artistic mahi with a karakia. People are invited to come into the story and then restored in the present moment when the telling concludes. The group of twenty included sixteen family members of one missing and murdered girl, and four investigating officers who work intimately with this family and others. This group braved a journey into this work with us. Talking Stick, Native Earth and I all worked together to ensure their attendance when it was decided they should like to attend. They came. Some wept. Some spoke of it as a healing experience. Above any review, beyond any acclaim, this validated our long and laboured journey.



Yours in profound gratitude,
Tara


Thursday, January 30, 2014

In Spirit

it's been a long while since i popped by here to dear diary across satellites.

there's a show i've been writing for years. borne of love, it's been a hardship and a joy. the inspiration is a greater tragedy than most of us would dare try to imagine. it used to be called Quilchena. it's newer, fuller, and more appropriate title is In Spirit.

i have the humility to know that this play won't erase the pain that so many profoundly violent and awful abductions have caused. i do have the spirit - naivety? - to hope we can eradicate them in future. our obstinacy has kept us alive. it can definitely unite us in this. our stubborn will to exist can spark a fire that will force us to create community from ashes. surely.

the truth about every missing and murdered woman and girl is that nobody except the girl or woman and the attacker know what happened. this is an injustice that can never be balanced out, no matter who is caught and punished. emotion is a gift. when we share it with anyone, we are laid bare. in the final, premature moments of life, under extreme duress, we must ignite with emotion never previously felt or seen. that broken, wretched human who is killing has the holy privilege of knowing the dying person's emotions at this time. it is so unfair there are no words for it.

only careful breaths and impossibly strained hopes. hopes cloaked in despair.

i have learned lately - in living, not in theory - that another aspect of these tragedies is that the names of these women and girls become known to us BECAUSE they fell to a neglectful and all-too-passive and aggressive world. all of their lives were rich with details and daily deeds long before, and leading up to the moment they were taken from us. we don't know those. unspeakably unfair.

there are cliches in the tellings of the stories of people who die prematurely. "everybody liked him." "she was so quick to laugh." "he was such a good guy." the good along with the tragic dehumanize them, in spite of best intentions.

the play In Spirit was written to do what very little i could to remind every fucking person willing to hear and feel and see that our missing and murdered belong to everyone. we must remember their lives. their complex and extremely real lives.

this play is a fiction, as far as plays can be. i have also come to believe that all stories are true. somewhere, somehow, they have all happened.
this play offers one possible perspective that none of us are privy to. this is told from the perspective of one girl who is taken. i didn't know her. she isn't a "real" person. the impetus for the writing began with the knowledge of the disappearance of one person. the writing moved very far away from that story, as known to me. the blessing of this is that i won't feel so shitty about not inspiring some silent witness to miraculously come forth and proclaim a known but hidden fact that will solve the case.
the sadness is having to admit - truly admit - the same. i wish the telling of a story could save a life. actually, i believe it can.
i guess what i really wish is that the telling of a story could restore a life. -tb (designer Andy Moro hard at work/art.)